So, it’s finally 2025. By the grace of God, I’ve been granted another day to experience His blessings, despite my constant disobedience. What a wretch I am. How are y’all doing?
I'm pretty sure nobody’s going to read this post, but consider this my way of venting my helpless soul into the unknown. Even though I still have family, they just don't understand our suffering, especially if you’re like me and deal with epilepsy, depression, social anxiety, PTSD, and schizophrenia. The point is, if we don’t share our struggles, nobody will know.
This year, I’ve decided to bring you along on my new journey. I’ve enrolled in and started watching some game development courses and tutorials on YouTube, particularly focusing on the Godot engine. I have no development background—actually, I studied culinary arts, tourism, and hotel management in college, but I dropped out in my second year.
Now, I'm desperate to find a way out to avoid being sued, jailed, or fined for my pending unpaid student loan from 2016, which amounts to roughly $1000 or RM 6000. Due to health reasons, I can't work normally, so I mostly waste my life watching K-dramas, wasting playing video games and dreaming about marrying my ahjumma [yeah I am that old]. But I can't afford to buy a house worth 1 million Korean won or feed a future family if I do decide to marry.
So, I’ve come up with a plan for 2025. I’m planning to learn how to code a game—make a Steam game and sell it for a few bucks. That’s the best idea I can come up with because begging for donations won’t bring anything positive and nobody cares if I share my struggles.
Maybe, just maybe, if I work hard enough, I can get some compensation from the gaming community for my efforts and they actually buy my game so that I can pay off my student debt and buy my medication. I started last year with Unreal Engine tutorials, but it was too complex and hard to learn. So, I decided to restart with Godot. I have no idea if people will support me or hate me, but I just want to make a difference and contribute to society.
I already have a draft project in mind on paper. Now, it’s about turning theory into application, which will take time as I need to do more homework before I can actually create a first demo prototype. I haven’t decided if I want to do 3D, 2D, point-and-click, or an interactive novel, but it will depend on the understanding I gain from this learning process.
So, if you’re new here, follow along on this journey. Let’s see where this path takes us together.
Here's to new beginnings and finding hope in our struggles! 🌟