Welcome to my corner of the internet. My name is Eliyahu Ezra, and this blog is a mosaic of my life, thoughts, and the lessons I’ve gathered through an unconventional journey.
I’ve walked many paths in my 30-something years, from serving as a minister to working retail at a perfume shop. I’ve dabbled in cybersecurity awareness, shepherded goats on a farm, taught as a guest lecturer in seminaries, and even explored Android programming and blogging. While I wouldn’t call myself a master of any craft, I’ve acquired a patchwork of skills, including editing, coding, and writing. But life has been far from straightforward for me.
Let’s address the elephant in the room: I’ve been diagnosed with epilepsy, social anxiety, major depressive disorder, and schizophrenia. On top of that, I’ve battled traits of sociopathy—terms that often carry heavy stigma. Sociopathy often manifests as impulsive behavior and difficulty forming deep social connections. Paired with crippling social anxiety, these conditions have shaped my life in profound ways.
I’ve struggled to hold down jobs, dropped out of college, and lived with a constant sense of alienation. Since childhood, I’ve been plagued by existential questions: What’s the purpose of life? Why do I feel the way I do? How do I fit into this world? These thoughts have isolated me, leaving me to navigate the complexities of life largely on my own.
In my teenage years, I turned to writing as a form of escape and expression. While my early diaries were dismissed as “disturbing” by my family, I found solace in putting my thoughts on paper. When I got my first laptop in 2014, a new world of expression opened up for me. Over the years, I’ve started, deleted, and restarted this blog countless times. Now, in 2024, I’m dedicating this space to share my unfiltered musings, rants, and reflections—things I struggle to articulate in spoken words.
Writing has become my lifeline. Though I shy away from voice calls, video calls, and face-to-face interactions, this blog allows me to connect with the world in a way that feels authentic.
This blog is a repository of my life thoughts—sometimes melancholic, often contemplative, and always sincere. I write about life’s struggles, the questions that keep me up at night, and the faith that sustains me. While my words may sometimes seem steeped in negativity, they are underpinned by an enduring hope in the promises of the Almighty.
Much like King David, who poured out his heart through psalms of praise and lament, I strive to find God’s presence even in the darkest moments. My goal is not just to share my journey but to encourage you to seek the face of the Lord, to grow in faith, and to overcome life’s trials with His guidance.
Life is tough, and if you’re here, chances are you know that too. Let’s support each other, learn together, and strive to grow in love and understanding. A little kindness is what I need to keep my life going and I believe some people out there need it too. So whoever you meet today, treat them with kindness and grace—do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
If my words inspire, resonate, or even challenge you, then this blog has fulfilled its purpose. Though I’m currently unemployed and navigating debt and health challenges, I hope to one day turn this space into a small source of income through Google AdSense. Even a single penny earned a day would be a testament to the power of perseverance.
At the heart of it all, I want this blog to be a space where brokenness meets hope. Whatever demons you’re fighting, I urge you to flee from them and run toward the ultimate source of peace and life—Jesus Christ. Let’s walk this journey together.
With gratitude and hope,
엘리야 Eliyahu Ezra